Confessions of a new mom

I just had to write this and there are so many I want to include but I don't think people will all day to read my confessions as a new mom. But here are a few of what I think many may say they went through, not just me.

1. Giving birth wasn’t that bad (with epidural), after birth was worse.
I don’t know if all new moms will agree but I honestly, complained more after birth than during birth. My birth plan worked well for me, I had 21hours of labor but it wasn’t bad with the epi. I did feel pain, enough to get me pushing good and making the actual pushing short enough. After birth however, is a different story.

Ah, how uncomfortable was getting the placenta out? And if you’re as unlucky as I am, hemorrhoids??? The worse!!! On top of that is the stitches healing (down there and worse if you’re c-section), constipation and your breast bleeding from the non-stop breastfeeding of your hungry little one. With my 2nd baby on the way, I am seriously more afraid to feel those pain again than the birth pains!

2. Breastfeeding, not an exact science…and it’s not that bad if you can’t or choose not to do it.
Part of my birth plan was breastfeeding of course for all the reasons that it is the best. But you know, not all are fortunate to be able to and not all will choose to and that’s ok! I have to remind all moms of this because so many writes about their success story with breastfeeding, giving advise how to succeed, but not too many will talk about their choice of not to or their struggle of not being able to. Click on my next post for my breastfeeding experience!

3. The first 2months was blah!
Sorry, motherhood is exciting and yes, our babies are the most gorgeous and most difficult thing that ever happened to us but, the first two months, you and your baby will kind of just stare at each other, cry together because you both can’t figure out what’s wrong, and sleep together because you both are just so exhausted. Your baby also doesn’t respond much yet during this time (some though will do coos and aahss at 2months) part of what makes it blah! It is also thought the most difficult time. #thestruggleisreal during this time because you are still getting to know your baby’s personality, what all his/her cries mean and what does he/she wants. Can we just admit that it is not at all that glamorous nor fun? It’s hard work, it’s a struggle but hey, it’s all worth it for sure!

4. You will lose your temper and part of your sanity.
I have to admit that I have screamed at least once to ask my Isla, what she wants. I felt guilty afterwards and I apologized a million times because it’s not her fault she can’t tell me but it will drive you somewhat insane trying to figure out what your baby wants. Losing your temper and at that very short moment, your sanity is part of parenthood. I’ve seen mothers of all different ages with children of different ages too and they all went through this. The best thing is to forgive yourself, step out of the room for a minute, breathe and start all over again.

5. Lastly, motherhood is a different experience for all.
I am one of the few fortunate people who has a huge support system, my sisters who are also mothers, my mom, my husband and many of my other friends who are moms and even those who are not were all there for me during the most difficult times that comes with being a new mom (whether it’s your first of you’re a new mom to your 2nd or 3rd child). My experience as a new mom had its struggles but I can honestly say that my support system made it much more bearable. But there are others who wouldn’t be able to say the same and will be afraid to admit it.

To those new moms and not having the best time yet, it’s ok to say that it’s not easy, it’s ok to cry, it’s ok to admit that it’s not what you expected because it really isn’t what you expected. That’s true for all. What you plan and what you had in mind will not always happen and you are going to commit mistakes. And to those who had a more pleasant experience, encourage those who need it, support them and please continue to share your stories!

Favorite Baby Items: Absolutely unnecessary but so useful!

So I've been dying to share my favorite items. I've come to know so much about baby items from my two older sisters, friends and other relatives and I have to say that I'm quite lucky that there's so many new things that has come out and was renewed since their time to mine (feeling millenial! lol!). So many new things that really most of them are unnecessary but I can see why someone invented them...for convenience! I did not avail of all the fancy ones but a typical 1st-time-mom, I did fall for others that may not necessarily be needed but I loved them and really did make use of them.

Favorite #1: All foldable gadgets!

We live in a town home and storage and space is not a luxury for a home like ours. I decided that for Isla, we were going to get things that can be folded away so that when we do have guests over or when she grows out of it, storing it won't be such a hassle. Here's a couple that I thought were great:




1.1 Lounger/Rocker-mines was Graco Little Lounger Rocking + Vibrating Seat. Usability is up to about 4-5months or until your baby learns to roll. This was great for nap time and because it is super light and folds, whenever I had to bring the baby to my mom's or at the office (yes I brought her to work on some days) it was easy to carry.

1.2 Fisher-price Spacesaver jumperoo. Usability is from 3-7months or until your little one outgrows it. I store this under Isla's crib again so easy to carry because it's flat and light and even the arch with toys can be removed attached to the jumperoo during storage time.

1.3 Zobo Infinity Matrix High Chair. Usability is upto 50lbs, that's a pretty big kid! I actually love all the zobo high chairs, my sister has Zobo Summit which is also great for small space areas although that one doesn't fold so if you're looking for something that doesn't necessarily fold, that's also a great option. However, the infinity high chair is also great, has the look of a regular sized high chair but in person this is quite small yet sturdy, it has a 5pt safety harness and yes it folds and easily too! The best part of it folding as well is that the tray doesn't have to be removed unlike other foldable high chairs I checked out before getting this one. This store on a corner of you living room and you won't even know it's there. Other features include a removable tray so you can easily put your baby in and out of it, and it makes it easy to clean.

1.4 So this is my most favorite one of all the foldable items, my Summer Infant Pop N Sit Portable Booster. Usability, well until they outgrow it, my 10month old still uses it. Found it at amazon for $26! Now why would I need two high chairs really?! I don't, but I do bring my daughter to work on some days and when she got to the age where she started eating solids, feeding her got more difficult without a chair (especially because I'm also pregnant with my 2nd child). I thought the carseat would work but it was unsafe and so I resulted to buying this. I keep mines in the car and it has come in handy in several occasions. It works with any chair, small, tall, fat or skinny because of the adjustable straps and it even comes with a removable tray which also serves as Isla's plate when we are using this at a friend's or my mom's house. It's small and light, I love it!

Favorite #2: Roller Cart

You can grab these at ikea, Michaels or target for less than $30. It is perfect to roll around all your necessities from room to room, corner to corner. I store in mine diapers and wipes, lotion, extra clothing and at night, this is our bottle station since Isla is formula fed. It's like having a diaper/bottle station all over your house and saves you the time from having to move item per item from one room to other. It is also great for organization, this way you know all her essentials are kept in one place.

Favorite #3: Luggage Organizer Bags

I am addicted to these things have them in different sizes. They can be found anywhere from amazon to tjmaxx (really good price for them there) and I just love how my diaper bag can stay organized and categorized and it's just so much easier to find things this way. Also this makes it easier for any purse to turn into a diaper bag! I have the bigger sizes for Isla's diaper and wipes, so if I have to change her I just grab that part of the bag instead of carrying the entire diaper bag with me; I have one for snacks, for her change of clothes, bottles, etc. If you have a wide enough purse, you can just leave your diaper bag in the car and carry the ones you think you will need for the time that you are out. I just love them!

Favorite #4: Silicone Mat

If your baby is already in the stage of solid food, this is a great item to have. Silicone mats are reusable, they can be folded and packed so it's easy to carry them around in your bag and it's super easy to clean! I carry our mat and use it as Isla's plate when out in restaurants, they're great because they stick in almost any surface and it's reusable so saves money compared to buying the disposable ones that are plastic and most of the time the sticky part of it just doesn't work. After use in a restaurant I wipe it clean with a disinfecting wipes and wash it at home, ready for next use.

Favorite #5: Bububaby Food Feeder

This is the new net teether/fruit feeder. I have read several reviews before purchasing this and what truly convinced me in purchasing it is how easy it is to clean. Unlike the net/mesh feeder where fruits can get stuck, this has a plastic feeder with wholes just like a big binky. This order also comes with two feeders and 2 sizes of feeder, it also comes with a holder that can attach to your baby's bib or shirt to prevent it from falling on the floor. A great buy for teething babies! ($15 at amazon)

There are so much more out there that I wish I can share all but these are few of the items I discovered that I felt were very useful to me. 

STARTING A FAMILY: Yes, I lost my first.

The decision to start a family took sometime to make, I had to be convinced by Jeb, I was just not as confident as he is with being a parent. I am an aunt of 3 boys (my babies, Ethan, Enzo and Lucas) and I was really good at that but that doesn't mean I'll be a good mom right?! The anxiety of having something or in this case, someone you have to be responsible for is huge! I feared it more than anything else in my life. I was not 100% on board.

Life however, has a funny way of throwing you a fast ball. On November of 2015, I found out that I was pregnant. We had plans of starting a family but didn't expect it so soon, we had an "oops!" moment (parental guidance is advised lol!) and it happened. I called my bestfriend first in shock and we both were crying, joking around our concerns that our party life is over. But the overwhelming feeling of fear quickly turned to excitement and I shared my happy news to the family and eventually to Jeb. I even prepared a way to surprise him, gave him a gift box, told him it was an early Christmas gift from a coworker, but inside were baby items like wipes, diapers, baby bottle and underneath it was the pregnancy test I took (eewww! haha). It was the happiest and most surprised I've seen him. We were teary eyed, we hugged and kissed and got more excited to share the news to his family and some of our other closest friends. I didn't think I'd be this happy about this news, I wasn't even sure I wanted to be a mom but when it happened, I felt I could do this and looked forward to seeing a mini Janelle or mini Jeb.

I then called my OB and asked to be seen right away, make sure everything is good, normal and safe since two weeks prior to finding out I was pregnant I also found out that I now have hypothyroidism. A condition that means my thryoid gland is not producing thyroid hormones which is responsible for a lot of things especially when you're pregnant or planning to be pregnant. Unlike most hypothyroidism that starts during pregnancy, I have it because I had graves disease which when treated caused the hypo. I was even told conceiving can be quite difficult and if I do conceive I will be followed closely, so you can imagine my surprise when I got pregnant so quickly. So OB appointment was scheduled, to my delight on my 30th birthday, December 10.

The night before the appointment, I had spotting but not to a concerning amount so I ignored it and was just ready to see the OB. The morning of my appointment, my birthday, I had more spotting but tried to downplay it as it stopped after taking a shower. I was just eager to get to the OB and hope he can help me with my concerns. When I got to the OB, I immediately told them I was spotting, they made me pee in a cup and while waiting I received greetings from the nurses there, which just made me more excited. That excitement shattered minutes after, the OB came back in and bluntly said, "so you're having a miscarriage." He said it so casually like it was just meant to happen. He did not ask me if I had questions, I was too shocked to ask any anyway. He said, don't try again for another 6weeks and left the room. My heart was absolutely broken. It's my birthday and I just got one of the worst news I've ever gotten. How do I tell Jeb? I still have to go to work and how do I act then? I waited to get into the car before bursting into tears and then shared the bad news to Jeb, trying my best not to be overly dramatic about it but as soon as I hanged up, I cried more.

I decided to share this because of a realization I had that day. A few of them actually. One, you have to be careful with what you say, sometimes what you think you don't want is actually something you really want and you're just too scared to admit to yourself. I realized that I wanted to be a mother the day I lost the chance of being one. Two, is that things truly will happen in God's time. Maybe our first pregnancy happened to make me treasure my 2nd one even more. Maybe I lost it to teach me a lesson or maybe it was something scientific but for whatever reason, when God thought we were ready and we are able to handle it, he made us parents. Two months after losing baby #1, we conceived again with our Isla Jorge. The story of that is for another time though!

To those who have suffered the same fate as me and is devastated, just know, it is not your fault, nothing you do or could've done could've stopped what was meant to happen. Try again or don't but whatever path you choose to take, just know that you are not alone in your journey. I was not, my family and husband, my great friends got me through it, my faith got me through it.

Getting back into swing

Hello everyone! Back at it again!

Maybe my 3rd jab at blogging will actually last this time. Before I explain why, let me give you a short history of my blogging attempts, especially if it's your first time reading one of mines. I started with my fashion blog (also a vlog in youtube), janellesworkdiary (www.janellesworkdiary.blogspot.com) in my early 20's talking about affordable fashion which went to a halt when I decided to pursue my (or our, together with my husband Heb) home goals. When we did get our home, I started a new blog (also an igblog) playingjanes (www.playingjanes.blogspot.com) where I hoped to share decor ideas, marriage advise, lifestyle, food and fashion, everything I love. That too came to a pause when Jeb and I decided to focus on starting a family.

So on this new blog, well not so new, I guess to continue playingjanes, my goal is to share the newest and most exciting and challenging chapter of my life...MOTHERHOOD! Now, I go to why I think one is my best yet--motherhood, it never stops, it never ends. How can I run out of things to share and talk (or rejoice or complain) about as a mother? Also this time, my goal for this blog is not just to blog but also an outlet for me and my daily challenges and triumphs. I also hope to inspire and help new and even expert moms already out there. I'm no expert though so for sure, with my 2nd baby on the way, I may need your help and support more than I can be that for you. Whichever way it goes, wish me luck and I hope you all join me on this journey!

"The Boquilas!"