1. Giving birth wasn’t that bad (with epidural), after birth was worse.
I don’t know if all new moms will agree but I honestly, complained more after birth than during birth. My birth plan worked well for me, I had 21hours of labor but it wasn’t bad with the epi. I did feel pain, enough to get me pushing good and making the actual pushing short enough. After birth however, is a different story.
Ah, how uncomfortable was getting the placenta out? And if you’re as unlucky as I am, hemorrhoids??? The worse!!! On top of that is the stitches healing (down there and worse if you’re c-section), constipation and your breast bleeding from the non-stop breastfeeding of your hungry little one. With my 2nd baby on the way, I am seriously more afraid to feel those pain again than the birth pains!
2. Breastfeeding, not an exact science…and it’s not that bad if you can’t or choose not to do it.
Part of my birth plan was breastfeeding of course for all the reasons that it is the best. But you know, not all are fortunate to be able to and not all will choose to and that’s ok! I have to remind all moms of this because so many writes about their success story with breastfeeding, giving advise how to succeed, but not too many will talk about their choice of not to or their struggle of not being able to. Click on my next post for my breastfeeding experience!
3. The first 2months was blah!
Sorry, motherhood is exciting and yes, our babies are the most gorgeous and most difficult thing that ever happened to us but, the first two months, you and your baby will kind of just stare at each other, cry together because you both can’t figure out what’s wrong, and sleep together because you both are just so exhausted. Your baby also doesn’t respond much yet during this time (some though will do coos and aahss at 2months) part of what makes it blah! It is also thought the most difficult time. #thestruggleisreal during this time because you are still getting to know your baby’s personality, what all his/her cries mean and what does he/she wants. Can we just admit that it is not at all that glamorous nor fun? It’s hard work, it’s a struggle but hey, it’s all worth it for sure!
4. You will lose your temper and part of your sanity.
I have to admit that I have screamed at least once to ask my Isla, what she wants. I felt guilty afterwards and I apologized a million times because it’s not her fault she can’t tell me but it will drive you somewhat insane trying to figure out what your baby wants. Losing your temper and at that very short moment, your sanity is part of parenthood. I’ve seen mothers of all different ages with children of different ages too and they all went through this. The best thing is to forgive yourself, step out of the room for a minute, breathe and start all over again.
5. Lastly, motherhood is a different experience for all.
I am one of the few fortunate people who has a huge support system, my sisters who are also mothers, my mom, my husband and many of my other friends who are moms and even those who are not were all there for me during the most difficult times that comes with being a new mom (whether it’s your first of you’re a new mom to your 2nd or 3rd child). My experience as a new mom had its struggles but I can honestly say that my support system made it much more bearable. But there are others who wouldn’t be able to say the same and will be afraid to admit it.
To those new moms and not having the best time yet, it’s ok to say that it’s not easy, it’s ok to cry, it’s ok to admit that it’s not what you expected because it really isn’t what you expected. That’s true for all. What you plan and what you had in mind will not always happen and you are going to commit mistakes. And to those who had a more pleasant experience, encourage those who need it, support them and please continue to share your stories!
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