I'm no relationship expert and I won't claim to be one ever. However, having 2 elder sisters, being friends with their friends and having go through a couple of serious relationships myself, there are a few things that I've learned that I was able to apply to my current romance, my young marriage of 3 years. I've blogged before about how to keep peace between husband and wife, reaching that compromise, but this time, let's talk about playfulness and keeping that fire burning.
Do you ever watch that romantic movie and say, "well I wish someone would sweep me off my feet too!" Well I say, "yes, someone should sweep you off your feet!" If you're married, you're probably thinking that it's not going to happen, but truly, it can.
1. Communicate.
When you're married, all lines communication should be open, whether be it for financial, sexual and even in the romance department. Voice out to your husband that you would want some sweet gestures from him once in a while. Make it subtle, tell him about that movie you like so much, because maybe then he'll ask you out to watch it. Give hints that you want some flowers, tell him you miss it. You can even be playful and ask him to pretend that he's trying to win you back again. Now that you're married, he can't judge you for being a hopeless romantic.
2. Positive Reinforcement.
I am a huge believer that you get what you give. Don't expect your husband to do all the romantic gestures if you're not willing to do it for him. Marriage is give and take, it is equal, it has to be fair. If you feel that romance is diminished in your marriage, then you can take the first step to keep it alive. I've tried this and it actually works! I do something romantic and sweet for him, nothing grand, and I see him putting the same effort for me.
3. Date.
I know for most who already have kids, this is the toughest part. It's not all the time that someone can watch the kids for you so that you and hubby can have that alone time. However, when you do find ways, you really must. It can be a late date, midnight snack type of date when the kids are already asleep--take out your favorite ice cream, eat it in bed, have a conversation, that counts as a date! For John and I, it's cook something, light a few candles and open a bottle of wine. No TV, just him and I having a conversation.
4. Reminders.
You won't lose anything if you remind your husband or wife or partner why you love them, remind them why you admire them. Not only will this make your better half feel that he/she is appreciated, it will make you realize why your with this person in the first place.
5. Play.
Yes, in all sense of the word! Play with each other, tickle fights count! For husbands that like video games, wives, try to play a game or two with him. In the bedroom this is also applicable. Have little bets around the house once in a while, "whoever gets to potty train Junior will win a prize;" "whoever finishes folding the clothes will get a prize." It;s the cheapest and easiest way to have fun.
6. Effort.
If you look numbers 1-5 it will go down to this, all of them takes effort. Minimal effort, but it takes effort. I recently shared my husband's sweet gesture. A small trail for me when I got home after a bad and long day at work
