Dear Isla
and Joaquin,
This is the
first that mom's writing to you both so forgive me if it's long. You will be
celebrating your birthdays soon and I just can't help getting emotional. All
sorts of feelings all mixed up together, I'm happy and sad and proud and wish I
can freeze the time just a bit longer, but also so excited to see how you both
will grow.
To my first
born, Isla. Mommy and daddy could not be any prouder of you. I won't lie, you
gave us a run for our money when you were a baby and during the beginning of
your toddler years. Now I can see why you were the way you were then. You were
always ahead of us. You've always known who you are, what you want and what you
need and you've always made it a point to let us know, and for the longest, I refused
to listen.
From your first days and months you told mommy, you wanted to eat more, you didn't want to be swaddled,
you want the lights off to sleep and you loved loved the water. When your brother
came, you demanded the attention. You made it clear to me that I cannot force
you to do anything you don't want but that if I acknowledge your feelings, you
will give in and also try to comply to what I want but it is your choice, you will choose to comply. You also made it known that
the most important thing to you is to allow you to do things on your own and on
your own time. You did understand that it’s ok to ask for help and you do when
you need it. Now, you are old enough to tell me that you don't like it when I
scream at you and you cry when you see me cry so I try my best not to in front
of you in my times of weakness. You keep or at least always try to keep your
end of the deal so I should too. You love your brother, you don't like him sick
and you will comfort him when he needs it. You give in to him so many times but
now you've learnt that not everything is for him and you will take what is
yours. You choose your battles and you have a very long patience. You love the
moon, you love to be chased and tickled, you love movies and animals. You like
knowing how things work. You will try something and won't stop doing it until
you've mastered it to your standards.You love being independent but also love your mommy-and-you time. You love hearing me say I love you and you tell me you love me more. You love my hair, you play with it so often. You want me to give you time and undivided attention even if it's just your favorite "2minutes". I try my best to give you more than that because I know you deserve it.
Isla, I don't
know how you came about to be you at this age but I am loving it. I love that I
can talk to you. I love that you try to listen. I love that you apologize. I
love that you fight for what you don't like but will also try to compromise. I pray
and hope that you stay this way because this is a making of a person that would
go a long way. You are compassionate, you are determined, kind and considerate.
You feel and understand in ways that sometimes I feel like is beyond your
years. I will always be beside you for as long as you need me and even when you think you don't, I will gladly step aside and watch you do your thing. Keep being yourself. Not all will understand you and will get who you are but it's ok, I will accept you for who you are always.
Now, to you Joaquin. You are the surprise of a lifetime and I
guess it's true, we don't really know what we need and want but God will give
it to us anyway and He gave us you. Our family would not be complete without
you. I look at you and only feel joy and giddiness because how could I not?!
You are the most adorable thing in the world. Everything you do is funny, is
cute even when you're naughty!
I struggle to keep a straight face when I have to discipline
you but I do. I have to anak. I will try my best to instill in you everything
that I tried with your sister. You are so different from her but so similar in
many ways too. It's like de javu many times. You are also headstrong, probably
more so than your sister. Unlike her though, you can't be talk to about it, you
just want to be given time and when you're ready, you will allow me to comfort
you. You gave us the easiest time during your first year. It's as if you
decided, I'll be chill because Ate needs you right now. And you know, you still
do this up to now. When your sister starts her drama about a toy or a movie or
tv show she likes, you give in and allow her to have her way. You hardly complain
but when you do, I know now that I have to pay attention. You are so much like
your father in that department. You talk
and you like to be included in conversations, you like being included in plays
and pretends. You also are so eager to learn. You want to help mommy and you
follow instructions so well, mommy is so happy about that. You communicate to
me what you want too and will keep at it until I give you the warning of your
limits. You cry for a bit when things are not in your favor but eventually, just
like how you were as a baby, you self soothe and will go back to your old happy
self. I know right now people overwhelms you. You hide behind me and
that's ok sweetheart. I will make you feel secure whenever you need it. You love
sports, you sleep with a basketball but as early as now, you show care and
empathy. You love your sister. You rely on her for many things and I saw many
moments that you have defended her. Your little self, whispers when Ate is
sleeping because you don't want to wake her. You are just the sweetest brother.
You would comfort anyone when they're crying with those warm kisses and hugs of
yours, it works like magic Quino! Now you know how to say good morning and I
look forward to it. You are also starting to pick up "I love you" and
I always wait for you to say it back. Sorry is hard for you, you won't face the
wall but will take a minute in the corner when needed.
Quino, I feel at times that I barely watched you in your
first year and now I see that you need me more, you want me more. Thank you for
needing me still, for wanting me. Thank you for your random kisses, you don't
know how much that makes me feel loved by you. Thank you for your joyful
welcomes and for calling my name "mommeh!", you don't know how much
that excites me too. Stay sweet my love and please, don't grow up so fast, let
mommy baby you for a little while longer.
To you both, you are my world. I love you both so much!
