I decided to write this
post because recently, I have been experiencing the full beauty of what has become my life, a mother of Irish twins. I don't think I need to state the
obvious but I will state it anyway, we did not plan for our children to be this
close in age. Heck, I don't even know that we planned having a second, well at
least at the time, we were so into being a parent of our first that a second
child was not even in the picture. To our biggest surprise, Isla who was born
on November 12, 2016 was 4months old and we found out that I was 12weeks
pregnant! October 13, 2017, my Joaquin "Quino" was born and even when
we had the rest of my 39weeks of pregnancy to plan out what our new life is
going to be, we were not prepared. Nothing about Quino's arrival was planned
out, how I found out I was pregnant was by accident, how I gave birth (he came
so quickly, 1hour of labor and 5minutes of pushing, no time for an epi or for
any of my birth support team was able to make it!), and nothing could've
prepared us with how Isla was going to take her new baby brother.
Now with that said, was
it as hard as I thought it would be? I can honestly say...it is HARD! I was
pregnant for two years in a row, went through the phases twice and being
pregnant on the second time was rough! Sleep was a commodity hard to come by; we had to deal with childcare set up as I still went to work full time. Talk about two active
toddlers one learning to run and one just learned to crawl, I cannot even begin
to say how hard that was. But to answer the question, it could've been
harder but it was not. Motherhood on its own is challenging and when you're in
a loop of the same struggle, it is testing but the cliché and truth, that it is
the most rewarding, fulfilling experience.
Eventually, we got the
kids to sync their activities. After the 1st year, Quino caught up with his
sister's schedule from the time they wake up, eat, nap and go to bed. We
somehow got them to enjoy most of the same toys and games, it got more
manageable. The real beauty though is now. Isla at 2 and a half years old and Quino
at 1 and a half, we are starting to see how these two have built a connection.
They seem to rely on each other for almost everything. Even at their young age,
we see they truly love being with each other. This is true for any siblings no
matter the age difference I think, whether their actual twins or 2, 3 or 6years
apart but to witness the kind of bond they have at their age gives me a new
level of high.
They rely on each other
for sleep-- now that we've moved them in one bedroom together, our camera
catches them check on each other over the course of the night. They wake up at
different times of the night to see if one is still there. They rely on each
other for play-- they take turns on who will be the ice cream seller, in the
kitchen, who will cook soup and who will cook cake. They learn from each other,
Isla teaches him words, Quino teaches Isla patience and sharing. Mornings are
the best, if one is up first, the other waits patiently for the other to wake
up and gives the best morning greeting every time. They even connive to trick
Jeb and I, scaring us or when they both don't want a bath or the food, they stare
at each other and give each other this smirk that's like a signal they will
both refuse it. I watch them speak to each other, I can never understand about
what but they laugh, they whisper, then they correct each other. They look for
each other when one is not in the same place. They comfort each other, probably
the thing they do that I love the most. When one is crying, the other comes
running to see why, Quino would hug Isla or Isla would try to help Quino feel
better, talk to him, tell him "it's ok". Isla who is the biggest mommy's
girl, when she knows her brother is sick will give way and allow Quino to get
my 100% attention. I can go on and on to say what I get to see everyday between
them two.
It maybe that their age
gap made their connection stronger, maybe not, as I've seen the same behaviors
in kids farther in age. It maybe that they're so close in age that they get each other and not feel that they need to compete with each other (yet). Whether
it is that closeness in age that gave them this incredible relationship, I'm elated
that I get to witness it everyday. I am hopeful that we can continue to
cultivate it so that they keep this kind of closeness for until they're older. Our
journey with our version of twins was crazy but I truly wouldn't have it any
other way.
